The Chatroom
by Anilanna
Summary: Imagine this: Sirius and James in a chatroom. What would they talk about? What disasters would come of it? Well, this oneshot will tell you that.


James and Sirius discovered a chatroom on the internet. A thing that would seem harmless but used with the wrong hands a simple thing like a chatroom can be dangerous. Sirius and James are used to people listening to their conversations because they are so awesome and amazing (in their own minds) and therefor a chatroom is exactly what they need. The chatroom is used to discuss important things like Severus Snape and his relationship to Lily Evans, their miserable love life (mostly James' miserable love life) and the mysterious disappearing of Remus Lupin, their beloved werewolf.

*In the middle of a very important conversation*

James:

Are friends allowed to date?

Sirius:

Huh?

James:

Can friends date?

Sirius:

There's no rule about that, Prongs.

James:

Noooo! Then Snivellus is allowed to date EVANS!

SHE'S MINE

Sirius:

They aren't really friends..

It's more like she feels sorry for him.

James:

oooooooh...

Sirius:

Makes sense, huh?

James:

yes it does

Sirius:

I'm that smart.

James:

thanks mate

Sirius:

Anytime, anytime.

James:

It stills anoys me about Someone

We can't just call her that

Sirius:

We could just ask her what her name is.

James:

.. isn't that like embarassing?

Sirius:

Na. Not really.

James:

then you ask her

Sirius:

What evuuuurh-

James:

well.. i saw Snape today stalking Evans, she slapped across the face and called him a creep

Sirius:

Lol. Why didn't I witness that?

James:

.. she made up with him at lunch, they hugged

Sirius:

Damn.

James:

.. i hate him

Sirius:

I know.

James:

why won't she hug me? I'M HAWT

Sirius:

Try stalking her. Apparently that works.

James:

I tried that... I ended up at Poppy's

Sirius:

Well.. At least you tried.

James:

Poppy likes my visits

I think I will go after the match this friday

Sirius:

If you define that funny little snort she does as a sign of liking then sure she does.

James:

She LIKES me, okay!

Sirius:

Okay okay~-

James:

She likes Moony too

Sirius:

She doesn't like me. Trololol.

James:

Well... it's because you started that fight in the middle of the Hospital Wing

Sirius:

Might as well start it there as anywhere else.

Seriously, I had every right to do it.

She has no sense of justice.

James:

You say that everytime xD

but I agree with you

Sirius:

That's because it's true!

James:

Moony hated you for a week

Sirius:

So..?

James:

It was dead funny xD

Peter didn't know who to speak to

Sirius:

He should just shut up anyway.

He never lets out anything intelligent.

James:

exactly

Sirius:

Did you find Moony, btw=

*?

James:

Nope

I called him but he didn't answer me

You think he could be in the Shak?

Sirius:

Meh..

Think something happened to him?

James:

Maybe...

It's Snape's fault

Sirius:

I'll kill him if it is..

James:

I'll kill him too

Sirius:

I said it first though. But you can kill him when I'm done with him.

James:

I'll kill after you've killed him then .. and then I wil woo Evans

Sirius:

Sounds like a plan.

James:

yep

you think Evans means it when she says she rather date the Squid?

Sirius:

I think so. She looks kinda serious when she says it.

James:

...

Sirius:

Sorry, mate.

James:

if moony was here he would comfort me

Sirius:

Aw. How nice of him.

James:

THAT WAS A HINT, you idiot

Sirius:

I don't do well with hints.

But of course I'll hug and cuddle you and pet your hair and tell you that everything will be okay.

Oh wait. I'm not allowed to touch your hair..

James:

Keep away from my hair, Black... But please do cuddle me, Evans is so cruel to me

Sirius:

Aaaaw.

James:

I don't get why she hate me so much

Sirius:

Maybe you should give it up. She's obviously not worth the effort.

James:

maybe you're right

Dinner time. Wanna join me?

Sirius:

Kk~.

**1 houer later.**

James:

Paddy, I have decided on something

Sirius:

Hm?

James:

I will grow up

Sirius:

Omg.

James:

I know right

Sirius:

That's like.. strange.

James:

but Evans might like me

Sirius:

Dude. Don't change yourself.

James:

butbutbutbut... she calls me bighead

Sirius:

Aw. :c

James:

and arrogant which I'm not

Sirius:

Then she's just not worth it.

James:

but she has lovely hair

Sirius:

Psh. That's not a reason to love her.

James:

Then, oooh wise Padfoot, what is a reason to love a woman?

Sirius:

Personality!

I admit, good looks are important, but no one wants to be stuck with some bitch for the rest of their life.

James:

... exept Peter

Sirius:

Huh?

James:

he likes to bitch from Hufflepuff, the tall one in seventh year

Sirius:

Yeah, that's because she has big boobs.

James:

I always thought he would fine someone fat

Sirius:

They aren't together, are they?

James:

Naaah I don't think so but he won't shut up about her

Sirius:

How annoying.

James:

Yeah, he keeps telling me about her hair and stuff - so not important, I mean.. It's blond, like everyone else's

Sirius:

Just stuff someting in his mouth. Usually it makes him shut up.

James:

I know what he wants to put in her mouth, he told me

Sirius:

..ew.

Just. Urgh..

James:

HOW DO YOU THINK I FELt WHEN HE TOLD ME?

Sirius:

But.. Why did you have to tell me?

James:

and then that bastard asked me if I think Evans and Snivellus is doing the nasty stuff?

I mean, WTF

Sirius:

If they are then she has really low standarts..

James:

Peter is desturbed..

Sirius:

Extremely..

James:

Why would anyone do it with Snape? LOOK AT HIM! He's he's he's... I don't even have any words for it

Sirius:

You're giving me some seriously disturbing mental images.

James:

...

Sirius:

...

James:

... Remus still hasn't appeared

Sirius:

I'm getting worried..

James:

me too, I mean it isn't fullmoon or anything

Sirius:

This is weird..

James:

indeed

maybe I'll sleep on it

Sirius:

Mm.. Maybe.

James:

We won't find him like this

*leaves chatroom*

**/Author Note/**

**Hope you liked it, even though it's just a oneshot, please leave a comment or something **


End file.
